So Right now at 5:41 in the morning on Sunday I have this huge urge to go outside and just start screaming until my vocal cords snap. Why would I want to articipate in something to rediculously destructive, you ask? OH well thast because I have this pathetic excuse for a family and they just like to trample all over me just because I am the youngest. Granted that I dolove my sister Athena because I know that she legitimately cares about me too... sometimes. But its my its my big brother that has really made me all self destructive today, and since my family follows me everywhere but here I guess I'll complain here.
The story starts like this:

Last night my sister held a small family cook out for my brothers 26th birthday. I was invited and so I brought my boyfriend along too because, well, I just don't see us breaking up anytime soon and they should get used to him being around. Athena has already met Carl plenty of times before and she is pretty okay with him, but my brother only met him nce and briefly at that. The whole time he was there he kept giving carl dirty looks and shit. I culd handle that, I mean I am the little sister so my brother is given a little bit of leway when it comes to being an asshole. But then dinner time cae around ad we were all looking for a place to sit. I wanted to sit outside so carl and I went to go sit on the back patio with a bunch of other people who were david's friends. I went to sit next to my rother and he started to yella t me to move because the seat was reserved and allt his other shit. I thought he was kidding so i sat down anyways. Then he kept yeling at me telling him that was where his friend was going to sit so I had to move. So I said fuck you and moved over a seat. Then his friend comes out and sit next to david and my so called "brother" starts talking about how he saved the seat for him because he wanted to sit next to someone he actually cared about. Knife to the fucking heart... Worst part he said this right infront of his friends and Carl. I felt about two millimeters tall and sick to my stomach. Worse part is he doesn't even apologize to me.

I know if I tell my sister what he said she will just say that he was probably joking, but it honestly didn't feel that way. I know he paid for my cap and gown and my birthday party and shit, but I honestly think that he only did that to keep my sister off of his back. You see Athena is the oldest and the toughest and if you piss her off you are in for a world of hurt and regret. She also has a firm belief in family and kepping it together no matter what, becuase to her family really is the most important thing. So one really good way to piss her off is to mess with her family or to deny someone as apart of your family. She was already pissed off at David for not spending anytime with me when her and the kids were out of town for their family vacation, so david had to do something to get my sister to shut up.

Also he couldn't have been joking because he know that when people say stuff like that it hurts, he saw how hord I cried when my dad looked me in the eye and basically told me to fuck off and die.

I hate crying this hard, and i feel bad because I kept carl up too.

What the fuck did I do to deserve all of this? I know I'm not the greatest of people but why would I have to deal with hurt and insult of this magnitude?

I honestly don't believe that anyone deserves this, not even Homer(my dad its what we call him because he is a deadbeat).

I dont know... I am just super sickof people pretending that they care about me and then just turning their back on me for no reason. It pisses me off and it fucking hurts like hell.