So Right now at 5:41 in the morning on Sunday I have this huge urge to go outside and just start screaming until my vocal cords snap. Why would I want to articipate in something to rediculously destructive, you ask? OH well thast because I have this pathetic excuse for a family and they just like to trample all over me just because I am the youngest. Granted that I dolove my sister Athena because I know that she legitimately cares about me too... sometimes. But its my its my big brother that has really made me all self destructive today, and since my family follows me everywhere but here I guess I'll complain here.
The story starts like this:

Last night my sister held a small family cook out for my brothers 26th birthday. I was invited and so I brought my boyfriend along too because, well, I just don't see us breaking up anytime soon and they should get used to him being around. Athena has already met Carl plenty of times before and she is pretty okay with him, but my brother only met him nce and briefly at that. The whole time he was there he kept giving carl dirty looks and shit. I culd handle that, I mean I am the little sister so my brother is given a little bit of leway when it comes to being an asshole. But then dinner time cae around ad we were all looking for a place to sit. I wanted to sit outside so carl and I went to go sit on the back patio with a bunch of other people who were david's friends. I went to sit next to my rother and he started to yella t me to move because the seat was reserved and allt his other shit. I thought he was kidding so i sat down anyways. Then he kept yeling at me telling him that was where his friend was going to sit so I had to move. So I said fuck you and moved over a seat. Then his friend comes out and sit next to david and my so called "brother" starts talking about how he saved the seat for him because he wanted to sit next to someone he actually cared about. Knife to the fucking heart... Worst part he said this right infront of his friends and Carl. I felt about two millimeters tall and sick to my stomach. Worse part is he doesn't even apologize to me.

I know if I tell my sister what he said she will just say that he was probably joking, but it honestly didn't feel that way. I know he paid for my cap and gown and my birthday party and shit, but I honestly think that he only did that to keep my sister off of his back. You see Athena is the oldest and the toughest and if you piss her off you are in for a world of hurt and regret. She also has a firm belief in family and kepping it together no matter what, becuase to her family really is the most important thing. So one really good way to piss her off is to mess with her family or to deny someone as apart of your family. She was already pissed off at David for not spending anytime with me when her and the kids were out of town for their family vacation, so david had to do something to get my sister to shut up.

Also he couldn't have been joking because he know that when people say stuff like that it hurts, he saw how hord I cried when my dad looked me in the eye and basically told me to fuck off and die.

I hate crying this hard, and i feel bad because I kept carl up too.

What the fuck did I do to deserve all of this? I know I'm not the greatest of people but why would I have to deal with hurt and insult of this magnitude?

I honestly don't believe that anyone deserves this, not even Homer(my dad its what we call him because he is a deadbeat).

I dont know... I am just super sickof people pretending that they care about me and then just turning their back on me for no reason. It pisses me off and it fucking hurts like hell.

I swear I am going to barf... this kid has a huge crush in my friend and instead of talking to her about it he is talking to me about it!!!! yeah not so bad this is my chanc eto help make more people haooy yadda yadda yadda. But think about this for a second, I hate the male species and have basically made my heart so cold antartica looks like summer! I am also a hopeless romantic and therefore have turned to writing stories about elegantly savage vampires to occupy my time for the rest of my life. I dont want to listen to this crap because everything he is saying i wish someone woudl do for me BUT NO! Doesn't happen becuase finding a decent guy with a job and a steady paycheck so i don't end up paying for everything (like I always do) is like finding the lost city of atlantis for me. Yet people continue to throw it in my face and tell me everything because I am so goddamn nice! Even when I say I am going to just not be apart of this ans handle it on your own, no they still continue to tell me. So not only do I feel like throwing up i am extremely jealous too. ghreat way to start a morning. who doesn't like being reminded that you will stay single forever first thing in the morning!

I am seriously so sick of working food service! I am sick of working with stupid shollow pedophile illegals! and suber sick of getting people who obviously thing that puchingin a fucking chair or keeping food on your plate is a fucking section of rocket science!!!! GAAAAAHHHH! I can't get any good tips becuase I don't look as cute as either of my co workers, so nights I close the store alone I make one fucking dollar. Granted the girl that closes with me at the end of the week is a courtsey clerk too, so she knows how to be all sweet and shit. My other co worker... she is really freaking mean to EVERYONE! and she still makes more tips than I do. WTF?! I don't have ot be courteous you know! I don't have to have amazing reserve when people start yelling at me because their hot dog wasn't made plain! IF YOU DON'T FUCKING LIKE IT THEN PICK THE SHIT OFF YOUR SELF! Fuck, people!

On top of that the have been complete ass holes to me just because they don't think I am cute enough! They openly fucking treat my co workers better than me! Fuck that shit! How about I call immigration on you asses! then we'll see how much you fucking like me you goddamn wetbacks!

On top of all this shit, I am having the usual boy troubles. So tell me members of the male species... Is it some kind of hilarious game for you to find a girl who usually has trouble blending into a crowd no matter how hard she tries, call her beautiful, pride her on her uniqueness, make her actually feel like a girl rather than a muther fuckign sasquatch and then ignore her for a fucking week just to see how bad it ruins her?! because after seven freaking boyfriends doing the same damn thing I AM GETTING REALLY FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF IT!!!!!!

Who ever said that being different was a good thing is a lying sack of shit, because all I ever freaking do is suffer! Only two people in this whole fucked up world actually understand how i think and truly get me, other either shun me because I am weird, or they embrace it and automatically think i am awesome just because I am entertaining when I yell. (granted that I do love all of my friends truly.) But when it comes to other adults, parents, and random kids at school I am the kid outside of the kids thinking outside of the box. Do you know how lonely that gets?? To watch all the averagely pretty girls get all the attention, but you get bypassed because you have an advanced vocabulary and differnt ways of thinking?

I can be all crazy and happy and silly but when it comes down to the raw bone.. it really freaking hurts. And the worst part is that very few of you understand the pain because very few of you are there.

Th eonly thing that hurts more.. is that no one will actually read this....

Okay so we know how 2009 is going... britney spears is coming back, Blink 182, and Greenday has a new album coming out and tour starting eventually... now here is the best new ever (and yes it's greenday related!)

The punks are invading the theater. A new musical production adapted from “American Idiot,” the best-selling album by the punk band Green Day, is scheduled to make its debut in September at the Berkeley Repertory Theater in California.


Berkeley Rep is to announce Monday that the new work, also titled “American Idiot,” will have its premiere as the first production of the theater’s 2009-10 season, and run from Sept. 4 through Oct. 11.


The musical is a collaboration between Green Day — the Bay Area rock trio consisting of Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt and Tre Cool — and Michael Mayer, the Tony Award-winning director of “Spring Awakening.
”



yes! AMERICAN IDIOT!!!!!! THE MUSICAL!!!!!!!! woo hoo! you have no idea how hard it is for me to NOT scream like the patheticaly obsessed fan girl that I am. OMG! bwahahahaha CALI TRIP SOON!!!

Okay so we know how 2009 is going... britney spears is coming back, Blink 182, and Greenday has a new album coming out and tour starting eventually... now here is the best new ever (and yes it's greenday related!)

The punks are invading the theater. A new musical production adapted from “American Idiot,” the best-selling album by the punk band Green Day, is scheduled to make its debut in September at the Berkeley Repertory Theater in California.


Berkeley Rep is to announce Monday that the new work, also titled “American Idiot,” will have its premiere as the first production of the theater’s 2009-10 season, and run from Sept. 4 through Oct. 11.


The musical is a collaboration between Green Day — the Bay Area rock trio consisting of Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt and Tre Cool — and Michael Mayer, the Tony Award-winning director of “Spring Awakening.
”



yes! AMERICAN IDIOT!!!!!! THE MUSICAL!!!!!!!! woo hoo! you have no idea how hard it is for me to NOT scream like the patheticaly obsessed fan girl that I am. OMG! bwahahahaha CALI TRIP SOON!!!